In the midst of a quest for
diagnosis and treatment of any major illness you can either suffer in
silence, or allow others to share in your journey. I admit, I struggled
with this one. How much information do you share, and with whom do you
share it? In the beginning, I was conflicted, thinking tests will probably
prove this to be nothing; I will have worried them needlessly. From the onset, sharing with my
husband was a given; my best friend also knew everything from day one. (You are
extremely blessed if you have at least ONE true friend). Sharing my fears and concerns with others came slower.
Did I pray? Of course. God
is the only one with whom I could share ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and be TOTALLY understood.
Yet, when life doesn't make sense, and you are having the worst day of
your life, God gives brothers and sisters-in-Christ the awesome privilege
to be arm-lifters, prayer-speakers, and grief-sharers. Word spread from family members and friends, to our church family..then to their circle of influence..people thousands of miles away that I may never meet. What a wonderful comfort to truly "feel" the prayers of others on your behalf!
Over the
spring and summer months, it became a challenge to schedule LIFE around my medical
appointment calendar! Decisions were so much easier when someone else
made them all for me. I might not have liked their choice, but at least if it
didn't turn out well, I could blame someone besides myself. I tried to
put life into perspective with the thought, "My happiest day is
someone's saddest; and my saddest is someone's happiest".
In situations of turmoil, peace of
mind can be high-jacked and replaced with mood swings, muddled
thoughts, and the inability to make even the simplest decision. My first Sunday at church following diagnosis was emotional. Explaining my diagnosis to our bible study class members was hard. I was encouraged by three women who confided they have had breast cancer. I think I cried through every song. Anyone who didn't know my situation was probably wondering what's wrong with that crazy hand-lifting woman? "No sickness, no secret, no chain is strong enough...to keep us from your love, to keep us from your love. How high, how wide; no matter where I am, healing is in Your hands. How deep, how strong; now by your grace I stand; Healing is in Your hands." (From Christy Nockels, Healing Is In Your Hands)
When you feel your life is out of control, stop and make a conscious effort to let God speak peace over your
life and situation through prayer, His Word, His people, music, and poetry. There are times when we need to be alone, and times when we need to be with people. Take time to "be still and know that He is God"...that He is still in control of your life and circumstances..although it may not seem so at the moment.
Let these words sink into your very soul. “When I think of the wisdom and scope of
God’s plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of
everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited
resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I
pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in
him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God’s marvelous love. And may
you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how
long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of
Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will
be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God” (Ephesians
3:14–19, NLT).
After surgery, I found a line in the beautiful poem, "Jesus of the Scars" - by Edward
Shillito (1872-1948). He was a Free Church minister in England during
World War I. My favorite line, so appropriate
for a woman who has had body-altering surgery..."But to
our wounds only God’s wounds can speak, and not
a god has wounds, but You alone".
One of the most
meaningful notes of encouragement I received came from an Alabama cousin. Her mom lost the battle against breast cancer a few years ago.
She assured us she was praying for me, my husband, my family, and "for
a successful surgery, for trustworthy doctors who love the Lord and know what
is best for you and your body, for comfort in the coming days as you mourn for
what you no longer have, for strength throughout your treatment process."
I still tear
up when I read those words, dear Deana. All "over-comers" and "warriors" of diseases, disorders, injuries, loneliness, tragedies, sadness, broken relationships, the loss of those we love, and for a myriad other reasons...we do mourn for what we no longer have.
"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28 He still says...COME.
Copyright 2015 Laney's Musings
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