Grandma Warriors Over Snakes and Other Creepy Things

My niece is a friend to all species of the buzzing variety.  When we play cards, she cringes when I heartlessly squish any flying thing that makes its way onto the table.  Don't think badly of me; I am a discriminating bug killer.  I would never harm butterflies, lightning or lady bugs, praying mantises, granddaddy-long-legs, or bumble bees.  But--beware, all other six, eight, or multi-legged crawling or flying creatures.  Be afraid..be very afraid!

I recently had a flashback of my mom stomping across the bed, all the while swinging a rolled up newspaper in hot pursuit of a mosquito flying near the bedroom ceiling.  During the 1950's and 60's in the south, we did not have the luxury of air conditioning.  In summer, doors and windows were flung wide, window fans hummed, doing little more than stir hot air.   As kids running in and out of the house, our parents didn't say, "Close that door, you're letting the heat in!"  Instead, we heard, "Close the screen door, you're letting the flies in!"  Needless to say, every southern mama was deadly with a fly swatter...an art I've never quite mastered. While I don't miss the whiz of the flyswatter, I do kind of miss the summer sound of the squeaking spring and slapping thud of a screen door closing. 

My best friend recently encountered a large black snake reclining on a shelf on her carport.   Although he was only a few inches from her face, she calmly left him to go his merry way.  She says black snakes and king snakes do a great job keeping down the rodent population, and she's probably right.  Another friend recently discovered a black snake curled up between her storm door and front door.  She, however, shares my sentiments concerning snakes.  He is no longer with us. 

Snake Warrior Grandma Laura

When I was a child, I tagged along with my mom and my tiny 4' 11" grandmother down a path near our house in the country to pick blackberries.  We were picking away when my grandmother leaned down and saw a snake coiled on the ground below.  Was she content to vacate the premises and leave him to his blackberries?  No, she stood her ground, sending my mom and me running back to the house for a hoe.  She brandished that hoe like a Samurai warrior, and proceeded to kill the snake.....many times over!  

Was the snake poisonous?  I don't know, nor do I care.  In my eyes, the only "good" snake is a "dead" snake.  I wish I were brave like my grandmother.  Sadly, I have not lived up to the first name we share.  Should a snake be so unfortunate to cross my path, I will not check to see his coloration, or the shape of his head.  I will run for my husband, and then the hoe!  And so it should be...

Genesis 3:14-15:  "The LORD God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all livestock and above all beasts of the field; on your belly you shall go, and dust you shall eat all the days of your life. I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” 

Copyright 2015 Laney's Musings

Life's Lessons Learned

I love history.  I especially enjoy reading old letters, diaries and journals.  They give an intimate view into the lives of those who came before.  I wish I could say I have been faithful to journal throughout my life. I've been sporadic, at best. Fortunately, my dad documented a good portion of his early life, so his kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids can know who he was, and what life experiences developed his personality, strengths, and weaknesses.

Diaries and journals document our stories so that, hopefully, when we depart this earth and all our life's possessions end up in a box...our journals will still be in that box for the next generation.

I remember receiving a diary for Christmas when I was eleven or twelve years old.  It had a little strap across the pages, and a lock and key so that my thoughts were kept private. Who knows where that little book is now?  I probably lost the key and it got tossed in the trash at some point in time.  I doubt seriously it would be very interesting to anyone but me. My life was pretty boring at twelve.  I might have penned how much I loved Paul McCartney, or that I wished the boys in sixth grade were taller.  At five feet four, I felt like the Jolly Green Giant on "dance day".  Thankfully, I stopped growing, and the boys didn't.

I found one of my incomplete journals from about 1999.  Here was my list of important lessons learned from life:

• Be a good listener; you'll learn more than if you always have to be the center of attention in every conversation.

• Be a faithful friend...someone they can trust with a secret.

• Cultivate compassion. Learn how to empathize with other's pain. They don't always need answers to the hurts and sorrows. Just knowing you care and hurt with them is usually enough.

• Think twice before you speak. Words once out of your mouth can't be taken back, though you may wish that they could.

• Tell others that you love them. We never get tired of hearing it!

Copyright 2015Charlotte Laney

x

The "I Am Boring" Personality Test

I woke up this morning with a realization...I am boring.  Since retirement, I have fallen into a daily routine which rarely varies.  Monday through Friday, I am out of bed when I feel like it, don my Nike flip flops, open all blinds and drapes to let in what I desperately hope will be morning sunshine, pat the big black dog's head, and proceed to the kitchen.  My "healthy" breakfast consists of a pack of Lance low-fat Toast-Chee Crackers and a Diet Coke.  I multi-task at breakfast by checking Facebook for the latest family/friend drama which transpired overnight.  The level of drama dictates when the bed is made and housework and laundry is begun.

Hey, even our choice of restaurants is boring.  In a city of conservatively hundreds, if not thousands of restaurants, we usually pick from less than ten...all on "our side of town." We don't care if we are the only English speakers, or have the palest skin--it's what we do.  

Boredom recently sent me to the internet to check out a personality profile test.  Surprise, surprise!  I was underwhelmed by the results.  I could have predicted most of them without a test.

I am an ISFJ-A variant.  Hmmm.  Exactly what does that mean?  Well, I am an introverted, observant, feeling, judging, yet assertive person.  Some of those traits seem contradictory. But, hey, the test couldn't possibly be wrong, could it?  Can you fail a personality test?

According to the test, I am altruistic.  I have to admit, I had to look that one up.  I wasn't sure I wanted to be 'altruistic'. But I discovered that means I am usually "unselfishly concerned for, or devoted to, the welfare of others--as opposed to being egotistical."  Well, I guess that is a good thing!  I kinda like being considered "altruistic", but I guess I shouldn't dwell on that trait too much, because doing so might be considered "egotistical".  :)  

I have come to the conclusion...yes, indeed, I am boring.  But that is not necessarily a bad thing--as long as I do 'boring' in an introverted, observant, feeling, judging, yet assertive way. Okay, I'll move on to the important task at hand.  I need a refill on my glass of Diet Coke. 

Addendum to post on 8/6/2015 - I have adventured out of the box a bit in the past two months when it comes to choice of restaurants, thank you very much.  I have eaten at at least six restaurants not previously on the go-to list:  House of Ling, Olive Garden, Mayflower Seafood, Chipotle Mexican Grill, Tokyo Buffet, and Newk's Eatery.  How's that for variety? I think I should now learn a second language. 

Copyright 2015
Charlotte Laney