I read this morning in Breast Cancer Survivors - Life After Treatments End that life is a marathon, not a sprint. With four and a half years of treatments remaining, I readily admit surviving breast cancer is a marathon. But I, and every other 1 in 8 women, have been...or will be..signed up for this race without training and against our will.
One of my favorite bible verses is 2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. I think the last half of this verse also applies to life after a breast cancer diagnosis. I am beginning to accept that there will always be uncertainty. But life is uncertain even without a cancer diagnosis. No matter how hard you may try to resume a "normal" life, you will struggle with discovering a "new normal".
My emotions are different. I am hyper-sensitive. The good in that is..my empathy meter has ramped up about a hundred percent; but that can be draining. My body is different, for sure. Four months out from radiation treatments, I expected to be at my pre-diagnosis levels in energy and stamina. That hasn't happened yet. Of course, a stress fracture and the side-effects of Tamoxifen could be to blame.
One puzzling "new normal" is that before diagnosis, I loved reading, art journaling, and writing. Those things have become cumbersome. I can't seem to concentrate or find the motivation. One thing I hoped would change, but has not....I still LOVE to eat!
Just writing this blog post is difficult. My focus is pulled out the window to the beautiful red blooms..in December..still lingering on the pineapple sage plant. One of my favorite quotes from Jane Eyre is, "You must be tenacious of life!" Like the pineapple sage...so am I. Different is sometimes a good thing; and exactly what is "normal" anyway?
Copyright 2015
Charlotte Laney
